My school’s confessions page, ladies and germs!
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
my favorite thing is when someone’s in the shower and you just hear a distant BANG BANG BANG CRASH and you can tell they knocked over like all of the shampoo bottles
States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don’t want to get married, it tends to hurt my feelings. I guess what bugs me is that it was put to a vote in the first place. If you don’t want to marry a homosexual, then don’t. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor’s options? It’s like voting whether or not redheads should be allowed to celebrate Christmas.
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| — | David Sedaris (via suicideblonde) |
is there a non-sexual way to eat a lollipop
SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER AND EAT THE REMAINS
settle down there thor
